There is nothing that Mr H likes more than a bit of babywearing. He just loves to be up at head height checking out what is going on and joining in conversations with a few well timed raspberrys or a shriek like a cheap Chinese firework. Because I read far too many mummy shaming or scaremongering articles online, he has to wear a cap and his baby banz so his eyes don’t melt out of his head in the harsh aussie sunlight. (Obviously this wouldn’t be an issue back home as we never see the sun in the UK, i’d have bought him some sort of Sou’wester and life vest with whistle and light for attracting attention) So this morning, I strapped him on as usual whilst DDH saddled up Frank and off we headed to the beach and then brunch like the ludicrously hip and organised family we are. Babywearing makes life easy!
As we meandered down to the beach a lovely old man stopped us to say how great it was to see a baby out of the pram and up where he should be. And I have to agree, having a massive snuggly cuddle with your lovely mum whilst seeing all the world has to offer or just closing your eyelids and enjoying a stroll in the fresh air does seem to be a great way to live. As we made it down to the waters edge the wind picked up a little and my boy cuddled a bit closer and it really felt like all was right with the world.
Heading back up the road to our favourite cafe Platform 177 we debated on brunch and checked out all the other little babies enjoying the day from the comfort of their pram. When I first had Mr H the lovely staff at P177 used to cut up my food so I could eat it with one hand as you could pretty much guarantee that the moment my meal arrived he would wake from his pram and need a cuddle. So in order to enjoy eating with both hands….and luxury of luxuries ….whilst its still warm!.. Baby wearing was where it’s at.
Feeling all smug as I tucked in to my berry pancake stack ( which was ridiculously delicious) I said to my husband over the not so gentle snores of our baby ” Don’t you just love how easy this all is now”. Looking back now, it was like a red rag to a bull; all the laughing and smiling and probably that rather large curry I had last night. The calm of our morning shattered by a not so distant rumble of bum thunder. I felt it bubble along my belly and as I stiffled a giggle ( because farting is still funny for me. . even at the age of 35..don’t judge me!) I felt an unusual warmth. Before I could say anything another loud peel of thunder struck and this time the warmth spread and the bubbling was most definitely ON my belly and more specifically on my actual skin. If this happens to you, i give you this one piece of advice. . . like when you’re at the top of a tall ladder or walking along an Indianna Jones style rope bridge. . . DON’T LOOK DOWN
but Alas…. I looked down and much to my dismay I could see a rather large stain starting to blossom on one knee. oh shit… there appears to be a very large poonado sweeping into W’town! At this point there wasn’t much I could do. I had one spare nappy and a small ziplock bag full of wipes on me when what I actually needed was a few CSI paper coveralls and one of those hoses the Germans use for dispersing rioting crowds. So after kindly assuring DDH that his very generous offer of his one single ply unsused paper napkin wasn’t going to cut it – we finished our food and set about speed walking home – Probably at least 60% less smug than we had been when we set off and I can say that because we still managed to have a civilised leisurely brunch, Mr H was still fast asleep and from a distance . . you couldn’t see that I was covered in poo. In fact I’m still chalking this up as a babywearing win as not a drop of curry poo was spilt on the actual ergo! So after a quick hose down and an outfit changed we put it back on and went about our day!